Here I am, mother of boys, keeping watch on these two little specks in the distance as they joyfully throw themselves in the waves. I was talking with my friend about the unique place a mother of sons has in making the future men of the world. I thought of all she’s done as a woman and mother that has created thousands of beneficial imprints for her son, and the man he’s becoming. I felt great hope for the future in this one mothering piece that largely goes unnoticed, except for by other mothers like me. I know what she’s given and how it matters greatly. And then so many other great mothers of sons came to mind. I thought of these mothers and their sons as I watched these boys in the ocean. Such peace and happiness I felt knowing so many mothers are there keeping watch, channeling the sacred if their own way, blessing the men of the future.
Archive for the ‘Spirit’ Category
To the person who walked into a Portland bookstore and ordered 20 copies of Mothering from Your Center. THANK YOU. You’ve done more good than you know. Book stores and publishers pay attention to book numbers sold. It indicates worth. And when someone places an order like that, it conveys clear value for the book and the work. Bringing out Mothering from Your Center this past year has been a blessing and a challenge. So many readers of the book have reached out to give thanks for the medicine it contains. But it’s also shown me once again the divide between what we value as a culture and the creative potential in the female body. By default, mothering and all sacred realms of the feminine are devalued. And that’s not going to change until women themselves hold their creative centers as precious and holy. To restore this medicine and knowledge, please buy and share these books. Write reviews, talk to friends, buy them as gifts for your sisters (thank you to those who have). More than a book about mothering, this book is about the potency of the spirit door within us. If we want our sons and daughters of the future to know the blessing of who they are–we must first know the blessing of the female body and the spirit door it contains. And to whoever walked into a Portland bookstore to order 20 copies of MFYC, from the depth of my mothering heart THANK YOU for this act to revive the feminine and give back its rightful value.
When I experience a deep loss, such as I did this summer with the death of our family German Shepherd, Kiva, I open my being to spirit. In pain, there is a natural tendency to close ourselves in protection. But it is in these times that we most need the lightness of spirit to lift us and hold us. I step outside and feel the breeze on my skin. I rest my eyes on the gnarled tree bark that has calmly weathered many a storm. I watch the clouds pass overhead, changing the light around me. Breathing in the beauty of the moment, I invite spirit to do the work while I rest. Energy moves and the heaviness lifts. I follow the next movement from spirit towards new life. Here the life comes in the form of another shepherd puppy; another dance with spirit named Moka.
I am an energy reader: I know how to sense the deeper layers of connection between you and me and the ancestors or the spirits of the land. It was something I think we all could do when we were living in the wild, on the earth, bare feet treading on soil. When our breath was shared daily with the cedars and we birthed babies onto beds of moss, we certainly knew, even though we likely never pondered, that we were part of a wholeness–a whole continuum of breath, and being, vibrating with this life energy and then the quiet repose of death, an exhale that was meant to occur lying on the soft earth.
This is why, I began to circle round–from the fires ignited in buildings rising so far from the earth that people had to fall to find their way down. I saw the reaction in the pain of remembering and the reflection of the separation that took us too far from what we were meant to know in the bodies of women who came to see me. I started there, in my own body, in the body of writing, in my young sons, in the women who came–all of us finding our way back to the center, to the pulse that invites a gathering together of cells, of people, of prayers, of the fire of spirit that ignites our passions and the body which is meant to walk upon the earth.
And this is why, as I found myself in the August sun, near the lavender buzzing with bees, and the grape vines heavy with leaves, I placed my hands onto my 14 year old dying German shepherd. Though the grief lifted me away, I remembered the earth and placed both hands around the thick red fur of her neck. Her last breath came and went, her body heavy on my lap. And then the energy moved like water, from her body beneath my hands into the air around us. Her spirit moved across the quiet grass, brushing over my skin, shining on in the gold light.
9/11 ripped a hole in the fabric of our world, but perhaps one that we can use to see where we lost touch and to remember the way our energy moves like shared breath, along rivers, over fields, like spirits touching down to earth.
In our mother’s womb we transform from spirit to body; we embody our sacred energy. I discovered this potential while pregnant with my second son, after a very mystical experience with miscarriage. I felt the energy of this new pregnancy coming to me from a far away place. If it weren’t for my miscarriage, which had taught me that the female body is the doorway where we come in, I might have missed this miracle occurring in my center. And still it was my body that helped me tune in.
I was busy rushing about my daily activities, and the early pregnancy nausea increased. Instead of pushing through the discomfort, I felt guided to lay down and open myself to receive the energy of my baby. As I relaxed my body and focused on receiving, my energy field softened and I could feel his spirit energy beaming in from a distant star. Though nausea often accompanies the early pregnancy period, it is also a sign to clear the tension in the body and the energy field that might block the transmission of spirit energy.
In the same way, we are preparing for a transmission of energy into our world as we complete the last phase of a 26,000 year cycle recorded by the Maya calendar. This last phase began this spring and will finish on December 21, 2012. The cosmic bodies will align at this time, opening a portal to transmit new energy potentials and initiate a rebirth of consciousness. Some of the present day challenges represent the work that is required to transform ourselves. To receive this new energy in your life, begin now to tune into your center and realign from there. Clear the tension patterns on all levels and open to receive the blessings of this cosmic conception and rebirth.
Wild Feminine blessing: May we all remember our sacred beginnings and bring this light in to transform our lives.
I went to a reading by beloved author Anne Lamott and was moved by her honesty and raw wisdom. She spoke about teenagers and how much risk they are taking these days. An audience member asked if there was anything we could do to reclaim our influence in their lives. Anne paused and suggested that perhaps we need to become the adults who they might want to some day be instead of the busy and harried ones that we are. Poems are prayers for me. Walking home in the rain, I wrote this poem/prayer for myself and my sons.
Be Where You Are
Whether sunlight streams through the window
or the rain drops down,
be where you are.
At times you will be weary
confounded by mixed signals or crossed signs.
Reaching and striving
will produce only dead ends.
So be where you are
back in your center
where there is always
air and light
time and peace
Leave the phone calls
and the work load
worries, conflicts, and expectations
lying where they may
and be where you are.
There with the crying child
or the laundry pile
and the nascent hopes and dreams.
Whether lonely and afraid
or simply noticing the spaces
in between thoughts and words and actions.
Just be where you are
with your breath in and out
and the beauty in front of eyes that see.
With potential in your hands reaching out
and your heart open again to this mystery.
Wild Feminine blessing: May the light shine wherever you are.
“Prayer is a sound vibration that goes out to the spirit realm”, says one of my teachers, Rosita Arvigo. A prayer can be as simple as an intention spoken from the heart. I have used blessings as a way to smooth the energy of each day and attune with the bounty of my life. I use it to calm a child in the midst of an emotional storm and to calm my own energy when I am distressed. I say a blessing in my work, when I’m sitting with a woman who is registering a deep loss. I take my sons to the beach, make a fire and drum, teaching them that attending to the spirit realm is as necessary for the soul as breath for the body.
Wild Feminine blessing: One prayer is worth more than a thousand worries. What will your prayer be?
As we look to the still unfolding events in Japan, we are reminded of how much our collective fates are intertwined at a global level. We are also reminded how quickly our fate can change and how vulnerable we can feel when faced with the unknown. I’ve sat with women in my work as they’ve weathered the loss of a baby or pregnancy, moved through divorce, been puzzled by infertility, wrestled with a cancer diagnosis, faced past trauma. I began writing Wild Feminine after witnessing the collective trauma response of physical and energetic discord in the pelvic bowl after 9/11. There was a common pattern of high pelvic guarding and fear in each woman that I saw on the day after 9/11. In this life, we often can’t predict what we’ll meet. But we can remember that fear in the body disrupts the energy flow and leaves a person feeling unmoored. Knowing that we will experience fear, we can bring breath to these trembling cells. We can focus on what we are thankful for, and what we love, to restore the flow in the center that will better equip us to meet whatever is in front of us in the present moment.
Wild Feminine blessing: Fear disrupts the energy flow, while love realigns it to full radiance. Be love.
In every moment we have the choice to open our energy to the mystery around us or close in reaction to stress or a challenge that presents itself. Each day there are opportunities to strengthen our connection to the mystery by opening to the flow of energy in our own centers. The events of life unfold as they will. By being aware of the protective tendency to contract and choosing instead to open ourselves, we can take in more of the air, the light, and the beauty that is present right in the moment. By opening in this way to the touch of spirit, we can receive comfort, healing, inspiration or whatever sustenance may be there to feed us in body and soul.
Wild Feminine blessing: May you open to the mystery within and around you, like the body responding to the sounds of bird song.
In the absence of the feminine, we love ourselves only when we are good enough or do enough. But then our worth becomes conditional and we fall prey to the highs and lows of our own productivity and the external validation from others. There is a more sustaining option. We instead can restore our connection to the feminine and receive this love that we desire unconditionally. By restoring our connection to the feminine we find that our value is inherent. We draw from a deeper source that will feed us even when we are in a cycle of rest or non-doing. The balance between doing and non-doing, with value held as inherent, is essential in a sustainable model where the feminine and masculine energies are in alignment.
Wild Feminine blessing: Say yes to your beauty and this feminine current will surge through your body and into every moment of the day.